I’ve been a bit silent on the blog front as I’ve been experiencing a little health issue, nothing that bothers me but it appears to be an issue for the house humans. This is why; on Friday, the female human snuck into the house, woke me from my afternoon nap, wooed me with treats and grabbed me. Before I could protest or reach out a few claws to rearrange her hairdo, she swept me out to the garage where the male human waited. Before you could say “Grumpy cat”, the humans stuffed me in the cat carrier, zipped it closed and I found myself on the back of a mobile metal tube traveling toward a destination that I feared would be the “House of the White Coats.”
As I watched the world hurtle past me, I sang the song of my people, it was a sad song. The metal tube lurched to a stop. The humans carried me inside a building and then to a room. In the past, whenever I found myself in the metal tube, I found myself at the”House of the White Coats”. That place had scary smells and cold metal tables, but this was different. The only scent in the air was calming and relaxing. The humans unzipped the carrier and I stepped out gingerly. The table was not cold, and there were toys and treats everywhere. After refusing a peacock feather and several other interesting toys, I shot the humans some serious stink eye and began my escape. My destination was an interesting container I’d spotted in the corner. I hunkered down, hopped off the table and was surprised no one stopped me. Flattening myself down as low as I could go, I scurried toward my destination. I hurtled myself into the cozy shelter feeling quite pleased with myself. Curling up on the soft blanket inside and inhaling the calming smell, I silently mocked the ineffectual humans who had allowed me to escape to this hiding place. Suddenly, the top of my hiding place was removed and someone carried me back to the table inside the bottom half of my shelter. Hmmm, evidently those humans are smarter than I thought.
Warm and gentle hands set me inside an interesting cat chair with curves on the sides. I was comfortable enough to stay there when the human in the white coat came in. There was a bit of prodding but much more petting. Despite the fact that I was doing quite well, my stink-eyed glare remained fixed on my face. It is imperative, my feline friends, that you never let humans know they have succeeded in making you comfortable and happy in the “house of the white coats”.
Very shortly, I was invited to return to my carrier. I took my sweet time sashaying in there while flipping my tail back and forth. It was critical that I show no pleasure in this place. Between you and me my kitty cohorts, I was so relaxed I didn’t even feel the need to sing the song of my people on the way home. Then another amazing thing happened. My feline roommates didn’t hiss and swat at me when I returned home. Seems like they didn’t realize that I had been in the “house of the white coats”, I was not inclined to enlighten them, let them find out for themselves.
So my furry friends, if you must go to the “House of the White Coats” make sure your humans take you to one like mine and never, under any circumstances, let your humans know what a positive experience it was!
P.S. My health is quite fine, thank you for asking.
PPS – a note from the female human: Our vet is Pend Oreille Veterinary Service and their cat exam room is fantastic. They use Feliway plug ins and Feliway spray on the blanket inside the cat “hiding place” in the room. It was the best visit to the “House of the White Coats” we’ve ever had!