It was brought to my attention by my purrrrrsonal assistant that you have released a list called, “The Friskies 50, THE definitive guide to the most influential cats on the internet.” First, let me commend you for taking the time to honor the many fantastic felines on the internet however, I do have my whiskers in a bit of a twist that my name was nowhere to be found on this list.
I am not so vain as to think that I can compete with Grumpy Cat, Colonel Meow (may he rest in peace), Lil Bub and the hero kitty, Tara. Nevertheless, I must express my wonder at some of the other winners.
Let’s look at a few of these Frisky Fab Fifty. There’s the “mean cat” Sparta. His Facebook page contains a prominent photo of him sinking his teeth into a hapless human. Hardly what I would call newsworthy or feline fantastic.
Then there’s City the Kitty. Her Facebook page declares her as a “public figure”. Really?? Some random cat candids are a far cry from making any feline a Facebook pubic figure.
Now Hamilton the Hipster cat is a pretty cool cat. I like his permanent milk mustache and he reminds me a lot of my housemate Tucker (both guys could do with a little “kitty tuna lite” if you catch my drift).
As I pawed through the list, I noticed a few other interesting things. #50, Cat Food Breath proclaims himself as an “entertainer”, Mayor Stubbs has listed himself as a politician, Luna, #15 is a top model kitty and Sam Has Eyebrows, #31 lists himself as an entertainer ( I say anyone who looks that much like Charlie Chaplin should call themselves an entertainer!)
So all you feline loving folks at Friskies, I have given instructions to my purrrrrsonal assistant to advise you of my awesomeness and, motivated and inspired by the descriptions other cats have used on their Facebook pages, I changed mine to “journalist” because I am one of the very few felines with a blog.
May all your postings be snarky,